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I’m glad they at least humored my suggestion that they start earlier.

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If you lost your clear plastic salad tongs, they are on Bushwick Avenue between Grand and Powers Street on the east side of the street in front of Jennings Hall. I hope you haven’t ruined Potluck Salad Fridays with your carelessness. How are you supposed to serve the Caesar now?

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If you lost your big beautiful blackberries, they are on Powers Street between Humboldt and Graham on the north side of the street by the fire hydrant. My dog and several others may have urinated on them.

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If you lost your giant box of assorted breadstuffs, it is on Powers Street west of Olive Street by the community garden. Please retrieve it before the rats cart it away.

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If you lost your terra cotta urn sealed with clear packing tape, it is on Powers Street west of Bushwick Avenue, a few feet in front of the Chinese take-out’s dumpster.

Cross your fingers they get one of the "other great toys."

Are you feeling faint? Have a headache? Shooting pains in your abdomen? Leg cramps? Unexplained neck or back spasms? Mysterious burns? Nausea? Vertigo? Feel like small hands are strangling or crushing you? Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to give your child two quarters to get toys from the gumball machine.

Hasn’t little Timmy, or Jayden, or Beyonce, or whatever you named your precious darling been angry at you ever since you refused to buy them that XBOX Kinect, or Harry Potter Lego set, or hooker boots, or whatever the last thing they were incessantly whining that they needed? If you have already handed over the quarters, it may be time for extra vigilance in securing lighters and matches. And by all means don’t be fooled into giving them a safety pin or letting them anywhere near the sewing supplies. And better just keep them out of the kitchen altogether.

Very cute and so very disturbing.

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If you lost your creepy stuffed panda, he is hanging out in a fence on Powers Street between Humboldt and Bushwick.

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On a door on Grand Street at Bushwick Ave.

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I like to wear my shortest shorty shorts while waiting for the bus on Graham Ave in the middle of the night. Did that dude squatting down to look at our butts follow us from the L?

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If you lost your little yellow purse made out of what looks like dish scrubbers, it is on Powers Street at Humboldt.