Archives for the month of: December, 2011

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I keep seeing this hat around and have had my fill of it. If you are going to inflict this horribly ugly hat on the public, at least have the decency to put on the rest of your bear costume so your appearance is comical rather than just annoying.

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Transcript: Once upon a time everything went wrong. A dragon killed everyone in town. And then they became zombies who felt the need to hump everyone they saw. So he got many diseases. He went to the zombie doctor to check out his big long juicy arm. It was fine thank baby Jesus. But then his booty hole was talking to him. So he went to the hard ware store to buy a hammer to shut it up. But as he was going to hit his butthole shut it said, “Baby please think about what your going to do.” Okay. Whats popping 5 nothing slime.

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If you lost your silver umbrella, container of stuffed grape leaves, half cup of red Jamba Juice, copy of King Magazine, pack of birth control pills, or large brown Norwegian rat, they are all on the uptown express track right by the middle staircase at the Union Square 4, 5, and 6 platform. When retrieving them, please be mindful of the third rail.