Cross your fingers they get one of the "other great toys."

Are you feeling faint? Have a headache? Shooting pains in your abdomen? Leg cramps? Unexplained neck or back spasms? Mysterious burns? Nausea? Vertigo? Feel like small hands are strangling or crushing you? Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to give your child two quarters to get toys from the gumball machine.

Hasn’t little Timmy, or Jayden, or Beyonce, or whatever you named your precious darling been angry at you ever since you refused to buy them that XBOX Kinect, or Harry Potter Lego set, or hooker boots, or whatever the last thing they were incessantly whining that they needed? If you have already handed over the quarters, it may be time for extra vigilance in securing lighters and matches. And by all means don’t be fooled into giving them a safety pin or letting them anywhere near the sewing supplies. And better just keep them out of the kitchen altogether.

Very cute and so very disturbing.

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